A Downpour of Blessings

So I was hoping to write a lot more often than I have.  I am so sorry that I have let time get away from me!  I am working on setting aside time every week to blog.  Bare with me while I try to find time!

I had a small discussion with somebody a couple weeks ago that really stuck with me.  Cap (my husband) and I were at a ward (what we call our congregation at church) potluck when our bishop (similar to the pastor of our ward) came and sat down with us.  Right after he sat down he said something that caught me a little off guard.

Now, to give a little background information.  I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  We do things a little bit differently than most churches.  We have no paid clergy.  In fact, all positions in our church are filled voluntarily by the members on all levels.  That means that our bishop actually has a full time job on top of the massive responsibility he has to take care of our congregation.  And he doesn't get paid for it.  Cap's calling (the term we use for the various positions in the church) is ward executive secretary.  He schedules all of the bishop's appointments with members of the ward and is at the church while the bishop is in his appointments.  He also attends various meetings, makes agendas, and does a lot of other things.  He is at meetings 1-3 nights out of the week and for a few+ hours before and after church on Sundays.  When he is not at church meetings or work he is usually making calls for church, making calls for work, emailing back and forth with the bishop, on the computer making agendas and doing other paperwork, etc.  Now, Cap's load is nowhere near the bishop's but this calling, at times, can be a second part time job on top of his full time job.  With this calling and his job, our time together and as a family has become limited.

Ok, back to the story.  When the bishop sat down, he very directly looked at me and said, "I wanted to come and say thank you."  I was not expecting that at all.  I assumed he had something to discuss with my husband, so I staggered out the response, "For what?"  He replied, "For allowing me to take up so much of your husband's time."  I laughed a little, grateful for his humility and care, and decided to jokingly say, "Yeah, you owe me!" to which he very seriously replied, "I do!"

A funny thing then happened.  Right after the words "you owe me" came out of my mouth I instantly regretted them.

You don't have to look hard to see how socially acceptable it is to demand compensation for anything that inconveniences our "picture perfect" lives.  Everyone does it.  There are very few people I can think of that always seem content giving of what they have without receiving anything in return.  We have become a world of complainers.  We never have enough time to do the things we want.  People always ask too much of us.  God always asks too much of us.  We always give too much and others too little.  People are always unfair in their dealings with us.  And we sit waving our fists in the air demanding that somebody pay us back for all that we give.  Was that really how I felt about Cap's new calling?

It has been hard adjusting to Cap's calling.  Right after he was called, the bishop immediately set to work at releasing and calling what seemed like the whole ward to new callings.  That meant that Cap was gone a lot to meetings and when he wasn't at meetings he was on the phone setting up meetings.  Things have slowed down a lot since then but those first couple weeks were rough.  I had moments where I whined, mainly to myself, about the lack of time he had with our family and all the slack I was picking up because of it.  But, oddly enough, it wasn't nearly as much as I thought it was going to be and I felt more than adequately sustained through it all.

I have pondered that interaction I had with the bishop a lot and during all of that pondering I was reminded of something that President Dieter F. Uchtdorf (a counselor to the president of my church) said during the Women's Session of the October 2014 General Conference for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  He said:


"Part of our challenge is, I think, that we imagine that God has all of His blessings locked in a huge cloud up in heaven, refusing to give them to us unless we comply with some strict, paternalistic requirements He has set up. But the commandments aren’t like that at all. In reality, Heavenly Father is constantly raining blessings upon us.  It is our fear, doubt, and sin that, like an umbrella, block these blessings from reaching us."


I used to think that if I wasn't receiving blessings in my life that it was because Heavenly Father wasn't giving them to me.  This analogy that President Uchtdorf uses really opened my eyes.  If I am not receiving blessings it is because I am standing in my own way.  I am blocking the blessings, not Heavenly Father.

If Cap had gotten this calling a couple years ago I can tell you right now that it would not be as good of an experience as it has been.  Both of us would have had our umbrellas wide open, refusing to make the sacrifice needed.  He would have gotten WAY more overwhelmed than he has been and I would have become extremely resentful of the time it was taking up.  It would have been a bad experience.

Thankfully, that is not how it has been.  Cap and I have both grabbed the bull by the horns and have done the best we could to jump right in and give what we have.  Instead of focusing on the help I wouldn't be getting from Cap to get the kids ready for church on Sunday or putting them to bed in the evenings, I have focused on the strength I do have and the strength of the Atonement of Jesus Christ that I can tap into to get me through.  And I have worked really hard to communicate with Cap when I am feeling overwhelmed, without blaming him or his calling for it.  And Cap has done likewise.  It has transformed our home.  Our home is noticeably more peaceful and love-filled.  Our love for each other, our children, and the ward has grown.  We feel like we are a little more the people Heavenly Father wants us to be.  We feel Heavenly Father's love more abundantly.  Simply put, the blessings have rained down.

Now, before I go and make you think that we've had "picture perfect" experience, let me say now that it definitely has not been!  I have gotten impatient with the kids on many occasions when they are being particularly stubborn about going to bed or getting ready for church.  I have been reluctant to give so much of my husband's time.  I have missed my husband more than I thought possible.  We have been pulled spiritually and emotionally.  It has been hard and very exhausting.  We have been less than perfect but we have been trying.  We do find that we open up our umbrellas at times and block blessings from raining down on us.  But we are continually striving to close them again and let the blessings flow.

Things won't get easier if we sit around and demand some kind of compensation for what we give.  Things get easier when we dig in, get to work, concentrate on what we have to give, and then give it.  We all have so much to give and Heavenly Father has so much to give us.  Imagine how we could transform the world by simply thinking, "What do I have to give others?" rather than, "What do others have to give me?"  And, oh, how amazing would the downpour of blessings be!