Big Announcement....

So, we have some big news in our family.  Some big changes are coming that we are very excited and nervous about.  We've been waiting and waiting for this day for months.  I can't believe it's finally here.  We've been celebrating for days!  

Well, you're just going to have to see for yourself....

Yep, that's right!  Angel is FINALLY walking!  She has had the ability for awhile now but has just been so stubborn.  She could smell you trying to get her to walk a mile away and always outright refused.  Just goes to show you that we, as parents, really can't force our kids to do anything.  They will do it when they are good and ready, and once they are good and ready there is NO stopping them.  Angel shows us everyday that she is a force to reckon with and I can't wait to see what she will do with that force as she continues to grow.

Social Media Fast

I had a pretty big emotional breakdown over the weekend.  Those are ALWAYS fun.... ;)  This breakdown was from all of the pressure I've been putting on myself over the last year to be everything to everyone, mainly my family.  I have put SO much pressure on myself to be the perfect wife and perfect mother that there hasn't been much room for mistakes, thus the breakdown.  Although I would never actually call breakdowns fun it was a wake-up call which I am grateful for.

It's time to say NO to the pressure!  The only way I can do that is by identifying where the pressure is coming from.  In doing that this weekend I faced a truth in my life that I have been avoiding for way too long -- social media has become toxic for me.  I will clarify that I am still a firm believer that social media can be good and that we shouldn't stop using it for good.  We need good voices amongst all the bad and I really want to be one of those good voices.  I know I have been in the past and will be someday but I can't right now.

I have gradually allowed social media become a reminder of all the things I should be doing but are not doing.  I see all of these women who have their act together in areas where I don't and I shame myself for not being like them.  I have fallen into the trap of comparing my weaknesses to everybody else's strengths and it has crumpled me in so many ways.  I have become a less effective wife and mother because of it.  My perception of reality has become really skewed and it is time for a reset.  I have decided to fast from social media until my sense of self worth has been restored and I can once again defend myself against the voices that tell me I'm not good enough.

Until then, I hope that I will be able to open myself up enough to use my blog to express myself more than I have.  My blog is a great place for me to use my voice in a positive way without facing all the other negative voices.  I know that one of my big problems is that I have seemed to have almost lost my voice completely.  I hope to find it again so that when I end my fast I can use it the way my Heavenly Father needs me to.

I don't share all of this to make some kind of grand exit from social media but because I have a tendency to make a big show of being myself and not letting all the commotion around me get to me.  I worry that I sometimes make myself seem invincible to low self-esteem.  But that is not the truth, by any means.  I do fall prey to the shaming voices directed at me.  I struggle with self-esteem just like everyone else on the planet.  I think it is one of the universal battles we all face in this life.  What matters is how we choose to fight it.  Because self worth is worth fighting for.